


This Modern Love

by joellen



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, College, F/M, Male Escort, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2018-11-06 16:42:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11040147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joellen/pseuds/joellen
Summary: Jyn, a lonely college student, lands on a random male escort site for a sociology essay assignment. While scrolling through bios, a man named Jeron catches her eye.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The first (very short and very sweet) chapter of a longer fic!

Jyn was poor. No - not poor, just a struggling college student trying to make ends meet. Whatever money she earned went straight to rent and other miscellaneous bills. Luckily, she had gotten a full ride and wouldn’t have to worry about tuition and textbooks and anything else related to her education, but rent was a whole other beast.  

Jyn didn’t really play nice with others. She had a temper. She was headstrong. So she lived alone in a tiny studio. When she wasn’t in class, she was working as a waitress, serving elderly couples and parents with loud children. It paid okay, but the tips were pretty nice considering the restaurant was in a nice neighborhood.

All of this - school, working, all of it - didn’t leave much time for socializing. And Jyn thought that that was completely okay. She didn’t need anyone. She hadn’t needed anyone since she was sixteen. And she was fine alone. She could entertain herself just fine. And she thought all of this until two weeks ago.

She was an engineering student, and while she had taken most of her general ed. classes in her freshman and sophomore year, she had been dreading taking the required sociology class. She didn’t know why. No - she knew why. She thought sociology was pointless - at least pointless when compared to engineering that was all exact numbers and data. Sociology was too...open - too many variables. She detested variables.

But two weeks ago, she had been given an essay assignment: “Internet and its implications on a society.” And while researching, one thing led to another and then that thing led to something else and she found herself on a male escort site. She hadn’t known that she landed on an escort site until she started looking at some of the bios. All the escorts were good looking, but good looking to the point where they seemed - unattainable and unreal. That was until the photo of an escort caught her eye.

His name was Jeron. He had dark eyes and dark hair and there was something about his face that made Jyn stop dead in her scrolling tracks. He looked - well, he looked almost normal compared to some of the other men (that wasn’t to say he wasn’t good looking, he was _really_ good looking), but there was something about his eyes and the small smile on his face. He looked so out of place.

Her heart beat faster. And she hadn’t even read his bio yet.


	2. Chapter 2

Cassian was nervous. No - not nervous, just psyching himself up. He was always like this before a “date” - a ball of energy and nerves as he pulled on his “date” attire and rehearsed lines and gestures in the mirror. He wasn’t as seasoned as some of the other escorts, but he’d done this long enough to get all the moves down. He knew that women liked having doors opened for them. He knew they liked when he pulled out their chair for them at dinner. And it wasn’t just things like that. He could read each woman pretty quickly, picking up on things like their smiles and if she was being purposefully coy or if she really was just that shy.

He straightened the knot in his tie, making sure that it wasn’t too tight against his throat. He’d styled his hair with pomade earlier, giving him a sort of debonair look. By society’s standards, he looked good. He smiled at himself in the mirror, practicing the one he’d be shooting at...what was her name again? Oh, Jyn.

When his boss had sent him Jyn’s info, he was a little surprised. Jyn wasn’t usually the type of woman who’d seek him out among the sea of escorts on the site. The women who sought him out were usually business woman with expensive haircuts and even more expensive clothes - at least judging by the photos women had to send to his boss before arranging a “date.” On the actual “date,” these women were usually looking forward to after dinner. A lot of them had a submissive streak in the bedroom which Cassian was more than happy to play out. Aside from photos, women also had to include a small bio.

Jyn was a college student. He wondered how much money she had from daddy in order to pay for his services. His services weren’t cheap. Hell, _any_ escort services weren’t cheap. Some of his clients paid thousands of dollars to set up a monthly service with him that his boss, of course, handled. Most of the time, his “dates” were with these monthly clients, women he saw once, sometimes even more than once, a month. Sometimes he had one-off dates. He wasn’t sure which ones he preferred - if he liked seeing the same client every month or going on a “date” with a client and never seeing her again. He supposed that it depended on the client.

He inspected himself in the mirror. He looked good. Hopefully good enough for Jyn.

When women paid for his services, they weren’t just paying for him and his hourly rate. The price also included dinner and a chauffeured car. His boss was all about creating the illusion of this good looking guy sweeping this woman off her feet. The illusion just so happened to cost a fuck ton of money.

Cassian had a hard time when he first started doing this. He had a hard time with the feeling of being used. He had a hard time with knowing that it was all fake and all it was was just a transaction - an exchange of goods and money. But he was desperate and he knew he was good looking. So why not, right? He didn’t think he’d still be in this this long. It had been almost two years of this work. He told himself that when he saved enough money, he’d go back to college and finish his degree. But the money was too good even with the percentage his boss took. So here he was now - still a male escort. Creating the illusion of romance and passion.

* * *

The inside of Jyn’s studio apartment was a mess. And it wasn’t just the usual pre-date preparation stuff like clothes and make-up and shoes, but it was also the dishes and trash and homework and everything else. How could she have Jeron here after dinner when it looked like a tornado ripped through the entire apartment? She looked down at her phone. She had fifteen minutes until he arrived to pick her up for dinner. Taking a deep breath, she assessed the situation and started cramming everything into her closet.

After a few minutes, her apartment was buzzed. Shit. He was five minutes early.


	3. Chapter 3

“Jeron?” She asked into the intercom after taking a few seconds to catch her breath from all the “cleaning.”

“Hello,” he said in reply. She wasn’t sure what she had imagined his voice to sound like, but it definitely wasn’t that. He had an accent, for sure Spanish, and his voice was warm - warm and inviting.

“Hey - hi, I’ll be down in a minute or two.” She let him go and gave her apartment a once-over. It would have to do for the time being. Maybe when they came back here, he’d be too overcome with passion to even care - the idea almost made her cringe. She knew that tonight would inevitably end with them fucking. That was what she was paying a pretty penny for, after all. So she wanted to get her money’s worth. She wanted to cure the loneliness she felt and Jeron was the perfect way to do that - if only for just a little while. 

Dating was hard for Jyn. She didn’t know how to interact with other people. She didn’t know how to form lasting relationships because she never really had one - not with her parents, not with any of the short-lived friendships, not with any romantic partners. She didn’t think she was missing out on much if she was being honest - especially when it came to falling in love. Humans weren’t made to be with one partner for the rest of their lives. It just didn’t make sense to her. People change - not all at once, but eventually, they do. Being with one person just didn’t make sense if the person wasn’t the same person anymore. 

But maybe Jyn was just being bitter at being abandoned so much in her life. She didn’t want to admit it, but the abandonment she experienced had rooted itself deep in her heart. It influenced everything she did - the relationships she chose not to form - the opportunities to have something more than just a quick fuck not seized. What if they left her? What if they eventually realized that she wasn’t the one they wanted to be with? Where would she be then? Alone. Always alone.

Jyn took deep breaths as she made her way down the stairs and into the lobby. She could see Jeron on the other side of the glass front door of her building. He had his back to her. She could already tell that he was tall - much too tall for her. And the way he carried himself with perfect posture? No, she knew he would be confident - much too confident for her liking. 

“Hi,” Jyn breathed out in the same moment she opened the front door. Jeron turned and gave her a coy smile. It almost left her speechless. No - a man could  _ not _ have that kind of power over her. She refused. 

“Jyn, it’s so nice to finally meet you.” Jeron held out his right hand to her. She assumed they were going to shake hands, but when she extended hers, he took it and kissed the back of it, making sure their eyes were connected the entire time. She tried to make sure she appeared as though she was not impressed, but she couldn’t stop her heart from beating faster. Jeron’s photo on the escort website was nothing compared to seeing him in real life. He was so much more...handsome. No - Jyn refused to let this, whatever this weird service she paid for, become more than just a service. She refused to be played into thinking this was more than just a quick fuck with dinner beforehand. She refused.

“You as well,” she said after clearing her throat, making sure her tone was neutral. What if they skipped dinner and went up to her apartment? Get the deed over with and end it right then and there? 

“Shall we?” Jeron offered her his elbow and she took it. It was then that she noticed the shiny black car waiting for them in front of her building. She paid for all of this, might as well go along with it. 

* * *

Cassian was having a hard time figuring her out. She had paid for his service and yet she appeared as though she wanted nothing to do with him. He’d still make an effort to keep up the illusion of romance, but it was hard to do so when the buyer of his time seemed disinterested in him and more interested in the menu she was holding in front of herself, as though it were a barrier he wasn’t allowed to cross. He tried not to be frustrated, but it was hard not to be. She might’ve even glared at him when he took out her chair for her. No - he was a professional. He refused to be anything other than charming.

The restaurant they were in was definitely targeted toward couples on dates. The music was light and soft - quiet enough for people to have conversations. The overhead lighting was dim with each table having its own little candle - you couldn’t help but lean into each other. And there weren’t any large groups around - just other couples. “The bruschetta sounds amazing, what do you think?” Cassian asked, trying to make some sort of conversation happen. The car ride over had been quiet. He asked her questions, trying to draw her into conversing with him, but all she gave him were one sentence answers - a far cry from what he was use to with other clients. He had a gift for drawing people out - for getting information. Jyn was proving to be a tougher target.

“Let’s get it,” she replied, keeping her eyes on the menu instead of looking up when she answered. Her voice was neutral. 

“Great. And what are you thinking for your main course? I’m pretty good at pairing wines if you don’t mind me choosing one for you,” he said, smiling as charmingly as he could at her.

She glanced at him briefly. Victory?

“The salmon,” she replied with the same neutral tone. 

“Salmon? Great. There’s a wine on their list that would go perfectly with it,” he said as he closed his menu and set it down on the table. She didn’t do the same. 

The waiter came just then, setting down glasses of water in front of them. He asked if they knew what they wanted.

“Yes, we’ll start with the bruschetta - two orders.” Cassian turned to Jyn. “Jyn?”

“I’ll have the salmon, please,” she said to the waiter, offering a quick smile, and then handed him her menu. The waiter nodded and then turned to Cassian. 

“I’ll do the herb chicken,” he said and handed his menu to the waiter as well. Cassian then ordered their wine. One to go with her salmon and a glass to go with his chicken. The waiter said he’d be right back with them. 

And then they were alone again. 

Cassian turned to her, smiling. “You’re not from around here, are you?” He asked. She had a British accent - a far cry from the American accent that surrounded them. “Your accent is lovely, by the way.”

“I was born in London, but my father got a job offer here so we moved,” she replied before taking a sip of her water. Their eyes met.

“London? Have you been back there since leaving?” He asked. Something flashed in her eyes.

“No,” she replied in the same neutral tone she had used with him all night. “I haven’t.” She looked away and then around the restaurant - as though everything was much more interesting than him. He sighed inwardly.

“Would you want to go back? To visit?” He asked next.

“I don’t know,” she replied. Their eyes met again, but she looked away just as quickly.

And so dinner went on exactly like that. Cassian pushed as hard as he could using all the tricks he knew, but she didn’t budge. Not one inch. There wasn’t even an opportunity to touch her. He was pretty sure she was consciously keeping her hands off the table. When he “accidentally” nudged her foot with his, she apologized and moved her feet away from him.  

He was so sure they would end their night on the stoop of her building - that she would turn and go inside, not even giving him the opportunity to speak.

But he was wrong. Dead wrong. 

When the car stopped in front of her building and they both got out, Jyn grabbed his hand, pulled him inside her building, and led him straight to her apartment. 


	4. Chapter 4

Jyn was not reckless. She lived a very calculated life - even the one night stands she occasionally indulged in didn’t happen without numerous contingency plans. After a motherless childhood and teen years spent with a workaholic father, all she wanted when she moved out was stability. She didn’t want to depend on others because people were unpredictable. The only thing she could control in her life was herself. But in the back of her head, she knew to some degree that that was unhealthy. She couldn’t isolate herself completely.

Jyn had a brother. Well, he was adopted, but she always considered him her brother no matter their parentage. Her parents had adopted him before they had Jyn. Bodhi was four years older and the kindest soul she knew. He was everything she wished she could be - warm, kind, patient, loving, and forgiving - he was even forgiving of their father, something Jyn wasn’t sure she could do - at least not yet.

She had told Bodhi about her “date” earlier in the week. He was currently stationed in Germany and he thought she was out of her mind. “Jyn -  _ no _ .”

“This is a pretty legit site - I can send you the link,” she offered even though she knew he’d never click on it.

“I don’t care how legit it is - it’s illegal,” he pointed out. Sex work was illegal, yes, but did she care? “Not to mention  _ dangerous _ . What if this guy, I don’t know, murders you? Or rapes you?”

“You’re forgetting that I have a black belt and that I’ve gotten into fistfights with assholes twice my size on more than one occasion. And won.” Jyn could handle herself. Bodhi knew this.

“ _ It doesn’t matter _ \- “

“I swear, if you tell dad any of this, I’m going to kill you,” she hissed, interrupting him.

She heard him sigh on his end. “See? This is what happens when you isolate yourself like that. Make _ friends _ . Have  _ fun _ . You can’t keep living your life like a hermit. It isn’t healthy.”

“I’m  _ fine _ , there’s nothing wrong with me.”   


“This isn’t like you, though.”

“Well, maybe I want to try something different! I don’t know!”

“Then try speed dating! I don’t know! Not  _ this _ . Jyn -  _ Jyn _ \-  _ please _ . I’m begging you.” She could hear the plea in his voice - could hear the fear and sadness and fatigue. Bodhi had been her conscience for so many years - someone who grounded her and made her come back to reality instead of staying on her high horse, looking down at everyone with disdain. But she knew what she was doing. She was Jyn Erso. No one messed with Jyn Erso. “Dammit, I have to go. Just... _ please _ , Jyn.  _ Please _ .”

“Bye, Bodhi,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“Don’t roll your eyes - I know you’re rolling them.”

She rolled her eyes again and ended the call.

* * *

Bodhi had been right. This wasn’t like her, but she didn’t care - not when she pressed her lips to Jeron’s. He stiffened, probably from surprise, before he quickly started reciprocating, kissing her back with the same ferocity. This felt good - it felt good to kiss him - a professional - someone she was paying to kiss her back like this - to fuck her the way she wanted him to. She promised herself that she wouldn’t hesitate with him. Jeron was here because she wanted him to be. He wasn’t some fuckboy senior fucking his way through the female student body - he wasn’t a professor preying on undergrads. He was someone she paid for with her own damn money and she was going to enjoy every second of this.

“Jyn,” Jeron whispered against her lips. His tone was unsure as if maybe he was unsure about her.

“Don’t say anything,” she whispered back, and he didn’t. He was quiet as she undid his tie and pulled it from his collar. He was quiet as she pushed the shoulders of his jacket off, down his arms, and onto the floor. He was quiet as he rested his hands low on her hips, pulling her to him. There was a fire inside Jyn she’d never experienced before - a want she wasn’t sure would ever get fulfilled. She felt Jeron’s lips against her neck and she sighed - a sigh that quickly turned into a quiet moan. Her fingers started undoing the buttons of his crisp, white dress shirt. 

Had this been someone else, Jyn wouldn’t have been as bold. There was always that hesitation with someone new - would they like this? Would they like that? But Jeron was here for her pleasure and nothing else. 

Once his shirt was undone, it, too, ended up on the floor. Next was his undershirt. She pulled it off over his head with no finesse at all. She took a moment to look down at his body. He was on the leaner side, but he was still well defined. Jeron definitely went to the gym. When she looked up at him, he was smiling, but he said nothing. 

Jyn wondered if he wanted to take off her clothes. She wondered if he could convincingly fake his desire for her - make her believe that the only thing he wanted in the world was to fuck her - not just fuck her, but ravish her - make her come a million times over. 

“I want you to undress me,” she said.

“How do you want me to undress you?” He asked, keeping his eyes on hers. 

“The way you think I’d want you to,” she replied. It was almost a challenge. Jeron smiled.

First, he kissed her, his tongue immediately sliding into her mouth. She closed her eyes and kissed him back as her arms wrapped around his neck. His movements were very sure - there was absolutely no hesitation. 

She could feel his hand at the top of the back of her dress where the zipper was. He pulled it down slowly. Her breath hitched and then she moaned against his mouth, pressing her hips against his, needing the friction. 

Her dress pooled at her feet, leaving her in her bra and panties and heels. She kicked off the heels.

Jyn’s bra was next. Jeron didn’t struggle or need to look. He unhooked it with one hand and pulled it down her arms in one motion. He gave her a once over. 

There was something freeing about not having to care about what her body looked like. If he didn’t like her body, she knew he wouldn’t say anything because she was paying for his time. 

More kissing. More touching. 

Jyn somehow wound up on her back on her bed in the corner of her small studio apartment. Her legs were on either side of Jeron as he knelt down in front of her. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of her panties and pulled them off. Her breath hitched as she watched him. Their eyes met. He slid his hands along her thighs, lifting them and hooking them over his shoulders. 

When she felt his tongue against her clit, she rested her head back on her bed, eyes closed. Jyn always had a hard time getting off this way. With a vibrator, it was easy. She controlled the intensity, the position of the vibrator against her, when to hold it back and when not to. But when it was an actual person doing it, it wasn’t the same. It was either too much or not enough - or they never got the placement right with their mouth and tongue. So she had low expectations with Jeron - except he was already exceeding them. He wasn’t just eating her out the way he thought she’d want him to, or just going through the motions - he was actually listening to her gasps and moans and to the way her body was moving against his mouth. 

“Oh my god,” she gasped when he did something with his tongue no one had ever done before with her. Her hands gripped the blanket below her. 

When she came, her back arched off the bed, her mouth a perfect “o”. It took her a few seconds to come back to herself as she caught her breath. She didn’t say anything.

When she finally decided to move, it was to pull Jeron up by his wrist so that they were face to face with him hovering over her. She kissed him and tasted herself on his tongue. “I want you to lie down on my bed,” she said against his mouth. He nodded and did what he was told, scooting up and lying down, his head resting on a pillow. Jyn got up and opened the drawer in her night stand. She took out a condom.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys weren't waiting for too long, were you?

The first client Cassian ever had had been another young woman, just a bit older than Jyn, but with blonde hair and much sharper features. Renee had been beautiful - almost to the point of being unattainable. As an intellectual property lawyer in an age where technology was advancing by the second, she was raking in money like crazy, but it left her with little time to pursue a relationship. Cassian asked her why she used an escort service when she could just pick up a guy with the same equal standing in society as her at a swanky bar Cassian would never be able to afford a drink in. Her answer had been that this was much easier and there was one less inflated ego involved. They had just had sex when he asked this - he was still coming down from the high of it as they both lounged on her plushy bed, naked. He had a lock of her hair curled around his finger. Some part of him had fallen in love with her - he knew it wasn’t real and it was only because of their very recent intimate activities - but at the time, he couldn’t help how his heart swelled when she smiled at him. He learned quickly, though, that all he was was one part of a business traction. When his time with Renee was up, he got dressed. Renee handed him two hundred dollar bills - a tip on top of the money she had already forked over to his boss. And that was that.

Cassian’s career as an escort had been filled with other women like Renee - beautiful, rich, and tired of egotistic, rich men who thought that sometimes a no was a yes. But Jyn had been the first one to go against the type of woman who usually sought him out. There was something...intriguing? Bizarre? Wonderful about her? He wasn’t quite sure how to describe her. Their relationship so far involved so little talking, but there had already been so much communication - at least when it came to sex. They made a good pair in that respect. It was almost too easy to figure out what she liked and what she didn’t. He was an eager learner - it helped that the noises she made were a good indication of what direction to take - not to mention that the noises she made also turned him on. 

When he saw the condom, his eyes met hers. His pants were tented in front from his erection. He was ready if she was. 

A part of him really did want to get to know her. He liked her - liked her confidence, her defiance against type. He liked the way she had her hair tucked into a small bun at the back of her head - he liked that it was a little mussed from their recent activities. 

Aside from her confidence and defiance, Cassian found that Jyn was also impatient. 

Her fingers undid his belt quickly - and then they attacked the button and zipper on his pants - and she barely got both his underwear and pants past his hips before she straddled him, rolling the condom onto his cock and giving him a few, rather firm strokes. 

And then she was riding him -  _ hard _ . One of her hands pressed against his chest and the other grabbed onto the sheets next to his head. 

This was about her - the way she moved, the way she chased her own pleasure - it was all about her. Not Cassian. Not anything else.

He grabbed onto her hips, but didn’t direct her onto how to move - he just held on. His fingers might’ve dig into her a bit. This might been all about her - but it still felt fucking amazing. 

“Touch me,” she gasped.

“Where?” He hissed

“Here.” She took one of his hands and brought it between her legs. Of course,  _ there _ .

His fingers pressed against her clit before rubbing it. Jyn groaned and bowed her head. Her hair fell forward and covered her face and all Cassian wanted to do was tuck it behind her ears - so he could watch her face - so he could watch her pleasure herself.

And then she tightened around his cock like a fist and she was coming. Her movements stuttered. Her breathing hitched. Her fingers dug into his chest. 

She came two more times before Cassian finally came - before she  _allowed_ him to come.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess I'm back on the RebelCaptain train.

What was going to happen now? Jyn wasn’t sure. All she was sure about was that she needed to catch her breath as she lay boneless on his chest, his cock softening inside her.  


She thought this would make her happy.

She thought this would fulfill whatever empty space in her body needed fulfilling.

But she just felt the same.

His hands were still on her hips - his fingers no longer digging into her like they had when he came. She could feel the fabric of his pants against her - could feel his chest heave with each breath he took in.

But she just felt the same.

No - that was wrong.

She wanted to cry.

But Jyn Erso _never_ cried.

His hands left her hips - and then his fingers were running up and down her spine in such a comforting manner, a sob nearly shook through her body.

“Jyn,” he said softly, breaking the silence. She lifted her head and she was kissing him. Before he could say anything - before she could do anything stupid - she was pressing her lips to his. Her hands came up, cupping his cheeks. Her eyes were closed.

She didn’t want to see.

And she didn’t want this night to end either.

She knew - somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew - all of this was fucked up. She hired a sex worker. She took advantage of someone who had bills to pay - someone who probably had to look after people who loved him.

This wasn’t her proudest moment - but she couldn’t help the way her heart stuttered when he kissed her back.

 

* * *

  
Maybe it was because he _liked_ her - or maybe because she was just a warm body - but he didn’t want this night to end.

It would have to, though. She only paid for him until midnight.

That was two hours from now.

Her body was soft - softer still as she pressed her lips to his.

He could get used to this. He could get used to _her_.

“Well, that was fun,” she said, sitting up suddenly and then getting off of him and the bed. She grabbed her underwear off the floor and pulled it back on.

All of this happened in the span of a few seconds and it nearly gave him whiplash. But he took that as his cue to start moving and get dressed. He pulled the condom off, tied the end, and put it in a little plastic sandwich bag he had in his jacket pocket. Another rule he had to obey: don’t leave used condoms behind.

Cassian could be a charmer if he wanted to - if he _needed_ to. But for some reason, he couldn’t say anything to her as he watched her pull a large t-shirt over her head out of the corner of his eye. All his usual lines weren’t showing up. His usual moves to end the night - to make sure the client would come back for more… _nothing_. He only spent a moment watching her before he focused on zipping and buttoning his pants and then putting on his shirt.

The urge to reach out and touch her was strong. He wanted to wrap his arms around her waist - to hold her small body to his chest. He wanted to get to _know_ her.

But there was something wrong. He could feel it.

“You have me until midnight,” he reminded her.

“Oh,” she said as if she had just remembered - stopping right as she was tying her hair up into a bun. The shirt she was wearing rode up, revealing the lace edge of her panties. He had seen her naked already, but just the little tease of it…

And then she turned to face him. The look on her face - it knocked the wind out of him.

She looked lost and conflicted. He had seen his fair share of those kinds of looks, always with first-timers, women who hired him, never having hired an escort before - feeling this false sense of… _love_? Or at least something close to it. But somehow, on Jyn...he wanted to kiss the feeling of being lost and conflicted away.

He took a step forward - the scent of her filling his head. He reached out, curling a lock of loose, brown hair around his finger, his eyes on it before meeting hers.

And then he was leaning down to kiss her - close enough to feel her breath -

“Don’t,” she said right before he could press his lips to hers. She turned her head to the side.

“I’m sorry,” he replied and straightened, letting go of that lock of hair, letting his arm fall to his side. She looked at him almost...disappointed? He couldn’t be sure.

“I know I hired you until midnight,” she said - her tone suggesting that it pained her to say it. “But you’re free to go.”

He looked at her for a moment, asking her silently _are you sure?_ But she did nothing except let her eyes fall to his lips. So she was sure, then. Cassian would have to go.

“I see,” he finally said after a long moment of silence, just watching her. “Thank you for the lovely evening.” The facade came back, falling again into the professional persona he had cultivated during his time as an escort. He took her hand gently, pressed his lips to the back of it, and then he left.

And she said nothing.


	7. Chapter 7

Six months passed.

Jyn didn’t have many friends, but somehow Leia Organa, a _senator’s_  daughter, had wedged herself into Jyn’s life. It was at the beginning of the Fall semester when Jyn, who was waiting for class to start and scrolling through an email, had her shoulder tapped by someone who had sat down next to her. She looked over. 

“Mind if I borrow a pen?” Leia asked, some sort of...smirk or grin, Jyn couldn’t tell which, on her face. 

Jyn became a project of sorts for Leia. 

To Jyn, it didn’t seem as though Leia wanted to _change_  her - but just help her come out of her shell more. Jyn didn’t mind. Unlike most people, Leia didn’t try to pretend to be someone she wasn’t. She was blunt. Sometimes she rubbed people the wrong way. Jyn liked that. Leia was pushy, but not annoyingly so. Jyn didn’t feel like anything was expected of her either. Leia wanted to be her friend because she wanted to. 

“You’re still coming tonight, right?” Leia texted her.

Today was Halloween and, apparently, Leia always threw a Halloween bash at her apartment every year. Jyn had flipped back and forth on whether she was going or not. She had a costume of sorts - well, technically it was just an all-black outfit with cat ears and black eyeliner whiskers and nose. The cat ears only cost her a buck at the dollar store. Might as well, she thought. But up until Leia texted her, Jyn had been planning on spending the night catching up on some reading. 

“I need you there,” Leia added.

Jyn sighed. 

A lot of people found it hard to say no to Leia. Jyn included. 

“Okay,” Jyn texted back.

“I know you don’t want to go, but trust me. The guy from one of my poli-sci classes I want to introduce you to will be there.”

Leia had been going on for _weeks_ about this guy - telling her about how well she and he would hit it off, how cute he was. If Leia hadn’t already been dating Solo, Jyn would’ve told her to date this guy herself if she wouldn’t shut up about him. But Jyn hadn’t and now tonight would be the night they would _finally_  meet. 

Jyn was not looking forward to it.

 

* * *

  

Most of the upperclassmen and grad students lived within a block or two of each other - including Jyn and Leia. 

She could already hear the music even though she hadn’t even entered Leia’s building yet. 

It wasn't that she wasn’t looking forward to meeting this guy - his name started with an E or C or something, Jyn couldn’t remember. It was just that Jyn had come to the realization that maybe alone was best. 

She knew how to be alone. When your father was a workaholic and your adopted brother had other friends and other things to do -  of _course_  she would grow up knowing how to be alone.

But then Jeron...

Those weeks after she met Jeron, he was all she could think about. There were so many times she thought about reaching out - saving money “just because” or “for a rainy day.” But she never used his services again - only thought of him when she couldn’t sleep and all she had was her vibrator. She thought of him even when she brought other men back to her place. They never stayed and she never cared. 

Sometimes she hated being this angry and this indifferent. She wanted passion. She wanted...she wanted _more_.

She entertained fantasies of having more with Jeron - of forehead kisses and hand holding and all the other things she liked about being in a relationship with someone. But having anything more with Jeron was impossible. It’d been his job to make her feel special. And she had fallen for it - but she was supposed to. 

It still hurt, though. 

Even six months later when she thought she was doing okay - it still _hurt_.

“Jyn!” Leia shouted over the music. She was dressed as a cowboy with the hat and gun and even the chaps, too. Jyn smiled and went over to hug her. There were already a lot of people. No one cared when she entered. She was thankful for that. 

“Well, where’s this classmate of yours then,” Jyn said, only pretending to look slightly annoyed. Leia huffed out a laugh.

“ _Cassian’s_ in the kitchen. C’mon.” Leia grabbed her wrist and started to pull her.

Jyn took in a deep breath, trying to steel herself for this eventual failure.    


This wasn’t going to work out - whatever Leia thought would happen between Jyn and Cassian, she was wrong. 

“Over here,” Leia said. The music was only a fraction quieter in the kitchen. But there were fewer people - more space to move around.

“Hey Andor, she’s here,” she said to a guy whose back was turned to them - but Jyn could tell he was dressed as a doctor judging by the long, white lab coat.

And then he turned. 

And for a second, Jyn swore her heart stopped. 


	8. Chapter 8

Something changed in Cassian after the evening he spent with Jyn.

He never thought of himself as particularly resentful.

Cassian was quiet, kept to himself. He was a loner.

But that evening he spent with Jyn...what if?

What if what they had was more than just a quick exchange of goods?

He resented the fact that they had to meet under _those_ circumstances. And because of _those_ circumstances, they couldn’t pursue _anything_.

 _But it was only one night_ , he thought. _You can’t fall for someone in one night_.

He used to take pleasure in his work - not just because of the sex. It was like a game to him, almost like Choose-Your-Own-Adventure. What if he did _this_ ? Would the client like him more? Or what if he did _that_? Would the client roll her eyes and blush?

But work grew boring - it was frustrating. He wanted _more_ . He needed _more_. All the dates he went on after Jyn - all the women who threw their money at him, it wasn’t satisfying anymore.

And so he quit.

And he got a job in a boring office, but at least it was a full-time job during normal business hours.

And he started taking classes again.

And that was how he met Han.

Solo was a character. But he was entertaining. And a good drinking buddy.

And through Solo, he met Leia, who also happened to be in one of his classes.

And through Leia, Cassian found himself standing in front of Jyn.

* * *

Jyn was all Leia could talk about when her and Solo and him got together to get drinks after Solo’s night class. The first time Leia mentioned Jyn, Cassian choked on his beer.

Hearing her name brought back all those feelings and memories he tried to bury deep down inside himself. She didn’t want him. It was so clear the night they met.

And now here was Leia- _fucking_ -Organa telling him that he and Jyn would hit it off. He tried to dissuade her, telling her he wasn’t looking for anything right now, but she was persistent.

Everyone knew Leia _always_ got what she wanted.

And so the weeks leading up to the Halloween party, he tried to come up with every excuse not to go - but then he thought of every single reason why he should.

In the end, he knew.

He had to go.

* * *

It almost felt like he was dreaming - like this moment wasn’t actually happening - like none of this was _real_.

But it was.

He inhaled. He had gone over this moment in his head so many times, he knew exactly what he wanted to say, but then -

“Hi, I’m Jyn,” she said, holding out her hand.

“C-Cassian,” he practically choked out. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Leia looking as smug as ever - as if him choking was an indication that this was love at first sight.

They shook hands - and that skin to skin contact nearly killed him.

Leia slipped away.

Jyn’s eyes flickered over to her retreating friend before meeting his again.

“What the _fuck_ are you doing here?” Jyn hissed.

She was _mad_.

“J-J-Jyn,” he started, but she quickly interrupted him.

“You _knew,_ didn’t you? You _knew_ Leia was going to introduce us tonight.”

“Y-Yes, but - “

“Are you _stalking_ me?” She gasped.

“No! I quit,” he said immediately. He watched her face visibly soften. “I quit.” _Because of you._  

“Oh,” was her response.

And then they stood there for what seemed like forever.

Every word he wanted to say - everything that he had rehearsed - suddenly, not of that mattered anymore.

Because he was standing in front of Jyn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's short, but just wait for the next one.


End file.
